November 24, 2019

I am a male who wears a chastity cage for long periods of time, sometimes months at a time. I do not possess a key, so I have no control over my genitals, and I do not have conventional orgasms while in chastity. I experience sexual intimacy with my partner by performing cunnilingus on her daily. She orgasms with each sexual encounter, but I do not … the gender orgasm gap in reverse. When in chastity, my tongue becomes my sex organ, and the taste and smell of her becomes my satisfaction. When she is unwashed, that satisfaction is heightened. Like men who enjoy sticking their penis in every orifice – her mouth, vagina, and rectum – my dominant uses my tongue for her pleasure. And, my tongue is frequently augmented with vibrators and dilos. She likes me to perform analingus on her while she pleasures herself with a vibrator or while I penetrate her vagina with a dildo. The humiliation of licking her anus or drinking her urine is no longer that, but rather my orgasm of her tastes and smells.

I present different personalities when my genitals are free and caged. The phycological effect is real, and difficult to explain. The immediate effect is one of submission. I become subdued when in chastity. I imagine this is the consequence of a phycological definition of self that is rooted in my penis. After being caged for a while, perhaps week or more, the phycological state seems normal and the chastity device becomes part of who I am. The week of transition is frequently accompanied by sexual acts that reinforce my position, one that focusses on the pleasure of my dominant. Transitioning between my two personalities is difficult. I am reluctant to put the device on when told to, and I feels a sense of loss when it is taken off. I suffer from a sort of Dissociative Identity Disorder that is triggered by the chastity device.

I sense my dominant experiences sexual pleasure from her control over my genitals. She frequently tells me turn around so she can pull on my caged genitals while I perform cunnilingus, often painfully. She has discovered she is a sadist. She garners sexual gratification from inflicting pain and humiliation on me. She not only controls my pleasure, but she controls my pain as well. She pinches my nipples, crops my testicles, canes my buttocks, often as foreplay, but sometimes for her pleasure in itself. Especially during an extended BDSM session, pain replaces pleasure as my emotional release. My dominant frequently leaves marks, which she sometimes checks the next day. The bruises appear to a type of branding that evidences ownership.

When I am in chastity for a long period of time, I notice two physical effects, a desensitization of my penis and swelling of my testis. When I am first caged, I continue to have erections while sleeping that are painful and awaken me. Within a week, I stop have erections and my penis becomes smaller with time. At some point I no longer feel it in the cage and it is longer a significant part of me. Like a little toe, it is stall attached to me, I just don’t notice it. In contrast, my testis swell, becoming painful with time as semen collects. Sometime my dominate relieves the pressure by milking me, a humiliating process during which I am on my hands and knees and she penetrates my anus with a glass dildo she uses to massage my prostrate. The sensation is usually intense, first as if my bladder is very full and I need to urinate, and later with the dripping of clear seminal fluid, a stronger pulsing sensation. The milking process usually only gives partial relief from the pressure, more emotional than physical. Occasionally, my dominant will use a dildo to penetrate (peg) me. Sometimes she holds the dildo with her hand and other times she will use a strap-on harness. The latter is particularly humiliating, especially when she dresses me in feminine clothing, and I sometimes cry. Pegging does not usually result in the release of seminal fluid, although sometimes it does, especially when she uses large dildos, but it results in an emotional release, which I imagine is analogous to the experience of a woman when she has penetrative sex without experiencing and orgasm.

As my rectum has become more accustomed to penetration, my dominate frequently asks me at the beginning of a session if I have been penetrating myself. While I am tempted sometimes to relieve myself when caged by milking myself, I am embarrassed to do so and by the time I need such relief, I am psychologically conditions to defer to her dominance. She uses her fingers to open me up, usually commenting in ways that are humiliating. In the past, she has used a dildo on me that is similar to the size of my own erect penis, 5 ½“ long and about 5” in circumference at its base. There is also one of similar circumference, but 7 ¼“ long, which is sometimes better for the strap-on harness. Recently taken an interest in larger dildos, and she has begun using a dildo that is 7” long and 6 ½” in circumference. She has a dildo that is 8 ½“ long and 7” in circumference that she has not yet used on me. She usually uses her fingers to open me up before inserting other objects, and I suspect it is just a matter of time before she inserts her whole hand.  

I had a new experience recently. My dominant used the larger dildo on me. It was at first painful until I relaxed enough to take it. She pushed it in and out to create a sensation that was analogous to having a full bladder. It was like milking, but without the release of fluid. When she was finished, my testicles felt like they were unusually full and I asked her to milk me. I do not recall ever combining pegging with a subsequent massage of my prostate. I could immediately tell something was different. I began releasing large amounts of thick white semen, not the clear pre-ejaculate that usually comes with milking, with each stroke of the glass dildo. The ejaculation was unlike a conventional male orgasm, which for me is usually localized in my genital region, and begins with a few seconds of intense pleasure, followed by ten seconds or so of less intense throbbing. Instead, each time the head of the glass dildo passed over my prostate (P-spot), that was a spasm that seemed to involve my whole body, each just as intense as the last. More ejaculate was produced than my usual conventional orgasm. This “anal orgasm”, that I have read that some people can experience during pegging, was unlikely anything I have ever experienced, and I imagine it is similar to what women feel when their clitoris is stimulated during climax. I felt embarrassed when it was finished, as if I had traded my masculine orgasm for a feminine one that I had no control over.